youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The feeling are messing with the penis
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
