...so i touched it.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
