Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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