he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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