Where are you?
In a non slutty way
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize