a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize