Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
