I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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