Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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