the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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