yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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