the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
