Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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