UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
