You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
honey bunches of taint.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
