do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
