Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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