Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
My dad is sitting where you rode me
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
