I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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