I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
