got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize