i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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