We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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