at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
