you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
