I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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