he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
