the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
