the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
