Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
