There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Blood and glitter go together right?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
