Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You were trust falling into bushes
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
