Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
