okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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