what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize