it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
