We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize