I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
