last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize