In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
