Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize