The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
