please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
