i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
