On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
