he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
