Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
