it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
