Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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