there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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