my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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