Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
