mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
