i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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