Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I didn't shave. On purpose
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
