i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
sex in a hospital.. check
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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