Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
