Betty ford says i'm here all night
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
whose parrot is this?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
