Kiss
Puke
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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